I have been challenged recently by a book I'm reading. It's called The Grace Awakening, by Charles Swindoll. I was encouraged to read this book by my senior pastor when he found out I had been taking a seminary course on the doctrine of grace. Throughout this read, I have been challenged to take a good look at my life and ministry and ask the question, "is my life and ministry filled and fueled by grace?" I think it's probably one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. The opposite of grace is legalism and shame. After counseling many teenagers over the years, I'm finding that shame is one of the major causes of depression, substance abuse and anxiety that drags them down. Why? Because there are many grace-killers in this world who want to impose their expectations and standards upon all of us. And when we don't live up to those standards that they felt we "ought" to have reached we feel we have somehow failed in life.
I have felt this shame and grace-killing in my own life (unfortunately too many times from those within the church) and at times it has left me paralyzed...feeling anxious and afraid to step out in faith. But there is a different way to live life and relate to others. Living a grace-filled life starts by letting go. It's a process of letting go in our own lives and recognizing that the cross is enough to cover even the worst failures.
It's also a process of letting go of others. We have to let them fail. We have to let them be different than we are. We have to let go of the responsibility we feel to make them into something. We have to allow them the room to become the unique individual God has created them to be...without looking over their shoulder and pointing out every mistake. Our job in life is not to fix others messed up lives, it's to rely on God to fix our own messed up lives and then to love and support others as God works in them. But the key is to let go...allow others the freedom to be themselves. We won't always agree with their choices or even their personalities, but God doesn't call us to agree, he calls us to love.
So, as I sit here I ask myself these questions...is the ministry I am entrusted one of grace giving? Do students feel welcome to be themselves regardless of who that is? Are they able to trust that we will not judge them, but that we will love them? Are we praying for them to become "good kids", or are we praying for God to grab hold of their hearts and transform their lives in whatever manner he feels is best? Are students able to take off the masks they wear the rest of the week when they are around our leaders?
I pray that the answers to these questions lead me to a more grace-filled life and a more grace-filled ministry. Have you asked yourself these questions lately?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Teen Parents???
Over the years of working with teenage girls I have dealt with more pregnant teenagers than I would have liked. It is a reality while living in the culture that we inhabit. The bottom line is that a large percentage of teenagers are sexually active...and so it follows that some of them will get pregnant before they graduate from high school.
I have had both good and bad experiences with pregnant teens. Some have decided to place the baby for adoption (which is always my first preference). Some have decided to keep the child. And some, which I still grieve for, have had abortions. But in all of these cases, not one of the girls wanted to be pregnant. I don't think it's any high school girl's dream to carry a child through the halls of their alma mater.
Tonight I had my eyes opened to something I've never seen before. I flipped on the TV and because I only get three channels (gotta love the bunny ears), the first thing that caught my attention was a show called The Baby Borrowers. Basically the premise of this show is that a group of teenage couples are all given the chance to be parents for a few days. Each of the couples, for the most part, felt like they were ready to have children. More often than not, it was the girl who was excited and the guy was just kind of going along with the gig. But they took these teens from their home towns, gave them each a house to live in and after prepping them for all of 2 days, they gave them a child under a year old to care for.
First of all...what parent would allow their baby to be in this experiment?? Do they not realize that there is a reason teenagers are not ready to be parents? Luckily the mom and dad were in a house across the street the whole time watching a video monitor of what was going on inside the experiment...and each one of them had the option of stepping in if it looked like it was getting out of control (which they did, thank goodness.)
I suppose I am just in awe of a few things. One is that these teenagers really thought they were ready to have children. I watched for about 10 minutes...before the kids were even dropped off at the house and was convinced that none of these couples had what it takes. First, as anyone who works with or parents teenagers knows...teenagers are selfish. Now, I will write a disclaimer and say that we are all selfish, but the maturity level of a teen in a relationship leads to more selfishness than a 25 year old who is married. These kids were fighting with each other about who was going to do what before they even got out of the gate. Obviously I am not a parent yet, but it is a no-brainer that in order to be a parent you have to set your own agenda aside and do what is best for the child (not always easy, but necessary.)
I think this experiment is probably very helpful for these couples to realize that they are not ready for parenting, but it seems a little odd that our culture is in a place where teens are getting pregnant on purpose just because it seems "fun to have a kid." I also am a bit disappointed that the media industry would cash in on such a ridiculous experiment...
What do you think? Have you seen it?
I have had both good and bad experiences with pregnant teens. Some have decided to place the baby for adoption (which is always my first preference). Some have decided to keep the child. And some, which I still grieve for, have had abortions. But in all of these cases, not one of the girls wanted to be pregnant. I don't think it's any high school girl's dream to carry a child through the halls of their alma mater.
Tonight I had my eyes opened to something I've never seen before. I flipped on the TV and because I only get three channels (gotta love the bunny ears), the first thing that caught my attention was a show called The Baby Borrowers. Basically the premise of this show is that a group of teenage couples are all given the chance to be parents for a few days. Each of the couples, for the most part, felt like they were ready to have children. More often than not, it was the girl who was excited and the guy was just kind of going along with the gig. But they took these teens from their home towns, gave them each a house to live in and after prepping them for all of 2 days, they gave them a child under a year old to care for.
First of all...what parent would allow their baby to be in this experiment?? Do they not realize that there is a reason teenagers are not ready to be parents? Luckily the mom and dad were in a house across the street the whole time watching a video monitor of what was going on inside the experiment...and each one of them had the option of stepping in if it looked like it was getting out of control (which they did, thank goodness.)
I suppose I am just in awe of a few things. One is that these teenagers really thought they were ready to have children. I watched for about 10 minutes...before the kids were even dropped off at the house and was convinced that none of these couples had what it takes. First, as anyone who works with or parents teenagers knows...teenagers are selfish. Now, I will write a disclaimer and say that we are all selfish, but the maturity level of a teen in a relationship leads to more selfishness than a 25 year old who is married. These kids were fighting with each other about who was going to do what before they even got out of the gate. Obviously I am not a parent yet, but it is a no-brainer that in order to be a parent you have to set your own agenda aside and do what is best for the child (not always easy, but necessary.)
I think this experiment is probably very helpful for these couples to realize that they are not ready for parenting, but it seems a little odd that our culture is in a place where teens are getting pregnant on purpose just because it seems "fun to have a kid." I also am a bit disappointed that the media industry would cash in on such a ridiculous experiment...
What do you think? Have you seen it?
Monday, June 23, 2008
BigStuf
I am sorry it's been a while since my last post...but it has been a very busy month around here. With the end of school, all the graduations and grad parties, and regular ministry events, I've been running around like crazy. I always know when my life is a little bit out of control when I look at the interior of my car...it is a mess...and that usually translates to a messy life. But hey, when I share what I'm about to share, it's totally worth it!!
We just returned from BigStuf camp down in Panama City Beach, FL. And let me tell you, if you have never been to BigStuf before, you should find a way to get there. Big stuff will happen in your life and in the lives of your students over the week that you are there.
I grew up on the west coast of Florida and I had always been told that Panama City Beach was a crazy place to go. There are a lot of unsavory things that happen on or near that beach, especially right around spring break time every year. But imagine a beach like that with 1,500 kids and leaders praising the one true God and learning how to walk with Him. It was incredible.
I will honestly say that when we left Cincinnati last Sunday, I was exhausted and frustrated. Ministry was not going as I had planned (of course, it never does when "I" plan it), and it had been a busy spring. I was not ready to take a group of high school students away for a week. But it wasn't 24 hours into our stay in Panama City when God broke through my own selfishness and opened my heart to what He was about to do in my life and in the lives of my students. Throughout the week I saw Him change hearts like only He can. I saw a young man who was kind of interested in Christianity, but also practicing Buddhism to some extent, come to a saving faith in Jesus. I saw a young woman who had never heard the gospel before respond by inviting Jesus into her life. I saw another young woman who has been a Christ follower for a while confess openly about some of the lies that she has been living and be baptized.
Only God can make changes in lives like this. And it is an incredible thing to be a part of. I am so excited to have the privilege of walking with these students as they explore their new hearts. I am so grateful that God would choose me to be the one to do it.
We just returned from BigStuf camp down in Panama City Beach, FL. And let me tell you, if you have never been to BigStuf before, you should find a way to get there. Big stuff will happen in your life and in the lives of your students over the week that you are there.
I grew up on the west coast of Florida and I had always been told that Panama City Beach was a crazy place to go. There are a lot of unsavory things that happen on or near that beach, especially right around spring break time every year. But imagine a beach like that with 1,500 kids and leaders praising the one true God and learning how to walk with Him. It was incredible.
I will honestly say that when we left Cincinnati last Sunday, I was exhausted and frustrated. Ministry was not going as I had planned (of course, it never does when "I" plan it), and it had been a busy spring. I was not ready to take a group of high school students away for a week. But it wasn't 24 hours into our stay in Panama City when God broke through my own selfishness and opened my heart to what He was about to do in my life and in the lives of my students. Throughout the week I saw Him change hearts like only He can. I saw a young man who was kind of interested in Christianity, but also practicing Buddhism to some extent, come to a saving faith in Jesus. I saw a young woman who had never heard the gospel before respond by inviting Jesus into her life. I saw another young woman who has been a Christ follower for a while confess openly about some of the lies that she has been living and be baptized.
Only God can make changes in lives like this. And it is an incredible thing to be a part of. I am so excited to have the privilege of walking with these students as they explore their new hearts. I am so grateful that God would choose me to be the one to do it.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
What would happen if......?
As I said in my last post, I had the opportunity to go to a Cincinnati Reds game last weekend. As I was sitting there in the stands I had a random thought that I wanted to share. I did a masters degree in sports marketing and management. One of our classes was on facility management, where we learned the in and out of running a professional sports stadium. Well, the other night sitting there watching grown men play a game for $20 a ticket (and we were in the nosebleeds), I had a thought. "I wonder how many starving kids could be fed with the money that it costs to run a stadium for just one night?" The thought has stayed with me and I can't get it off my mind.
I am as guilty as the next person while living in this blessed country. I consume more than I should and I spend more than I should. But the thought crossed my mind that we really have our priorities screwed up. I'm not sure that I could look a small, starving child in the face and apologize to him for not sending more food, but I had to go to a baseball game. I'm not sure where these thoughts will lead, but they are for sure rattling around in my brain and heart. My heart breaking for those who are struggling. What do you think?
I am as guilty as the next person while living in this blessed country. I consume more than I should and I spend more than I should. But the thought crossed my mind that we really have our priorities screwed up. I'm not sure that I could look a small, starving child in the face and apologize to him for not sending more food, but I had to go to a baseball game. I'm not sure where these thoughts will lead, but they are for sure rattling around in my brain and heart. My heart breaking for those who are struggling. What do you think?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Random thoughts about worship and baseball
Yeah, I suppose those two things (worship and baseball) don't have too much in common...unless you go to a Cincinnati Reds vs. Cleveland Indians game and watch the actions of others in attendance. I was struck again last night, as I have been before, about just how worshipful we are as humans. And I was struck again last night, as I have been before, how the object of our worship is so far from what it should be most of the time.
Last night I went to the Reds game. I don't often go to games just because of the hassle in getting downtown, the cost of the ticket, and to be quite honest...I think baseball is rather boring. I know, I may have just lost a reader or two with that comment, but seriously...it is quicker to watch a wall of paint dry than it is to sit through 9 innings of baseball. The only part that keeps me going on occasion is the atmosphere. It is electric. There are people yelling, clapping, singing and being social. But like I said, I was struck again at what Louie Giglio would term "the purest form of worship." And I asked myself the question as we drove away from the stadium, when was the last time I stood up and jumped up and down and cheered for Jesus? Certainly He has accomplished much more than any one of the Cincinnati Reds. Surely what He did for me was much more meaningful and life altering than Adam Dunn hitting a two run homer in the 3rd.
And yet I find myslelf living day to day thankful and grateful, but not excited. Why is this? Is it because it's already done? Is it because I accepted Christ long ago and now it's more a matter of doing? Is it because a lot of the world is not interested in cheering for Jesus, and when I do I just feel alone? Today I asked God for a new perspective. Today I asked God to open my eyes to His many daily wonders...daily reasons to stand up and cheer. We all live lives of worship. I want my worship to be toward the only One who is truly worthy of my worship.
Last night I went to the Reds game. I don't often go to games just because of the hassle in getting downtown, the cost of the ticket, and to be quite honest...I think baseball is rather boring. I know, I may have just lost a reader or two with that comment, but seriously...it is quicker to watch a wall of paint dry than it is to sit through 9 innings of baseball. The only part that keeps me going on occasion is the atmosphere. It is electric. There are people yelling, clapping, singing and being social. But like I said, I was struck again at what Louie Giglio would term "the purest form of worship." And I asked myself the question as we drove away from the stadium, when was the last time I stood up and jumped up and down and cheered for Jesus? Certainly He has accomplished much more than any one of the Cincinnati Reds. Surely what He did for me was much more meaningful and life altering than Adam Dunn hitting a two run homer in the 3rd.
And yet I find myslelf living day to day thankful and grateful, but not excited. Why is this? Is it because it's already done? Is it because I accepted Christ long ago and now it's more a matter of doing? Is it because a lot of the world is not interested in cheering for Jesus, and when I do I just feel alone? Today I asked God for a new perspective. Today I asked God to open my eyes to His many daily wonders...daily reasons to stand up and cheer. We all live lives of worship. I want my worship to be toward the only One who is truly worthy of my worship.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Law vs. Grace
I recently took a class called "The Doctrine of Grace." Really it was a good look at the book of Romans, which by the way, has always been one of my favorites. I get Paul. He and I probably would have been friends (after the whole "killing Christ followers" phase was put behind him). This struggle with how to relate to God is a big one. Do we try harder to be better or do we simply rest in the grace offered us through Jesus Christ, allowing our doing to be an outpouring of our being. It seems as if it would be an easy answer, and yet there are thousands of Christians all over the world trying to "earn" their way into God's good graces. It's not necessarily that we cognitively choose to do it, but our culture is such that performance is rewarded, and so we translate that ideology to our relationship with our Creator.
I have been reading a lot of Henri Nouwen lately. (If you've never read anything written by him, I would say you need to.) He has a way with words. A few days ago, I was reading some things he wrote about joy. He said "joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing can take that love away...joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. It is a choice based on the knowledge that we belong to God and have found in God our refuge and our safety."
We have to choose joy. This is the same as choosing to live under grace and not under law. Every day we have a choice. We can choose to live as if what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us is how we earn our way to God; or we can choose to believe that we are unconditionally loved and our relationship to God has been paved by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Today I choose joy. Not because it is easy, but because it good. And I choose to rest in the promise that I am loved and accepted apart from what I do today.
I have been reading a lot of Henri Nouwen lately. (If you've never read anything written by him, I would say you need to.) He has a way with words. A few days ago, I was reading some things he wrote about joy. He said "joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing can take that love away...joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. It is a choice based on the knowledge that we belong to God and have found in God our refuge and our safety."
We have to choose joy. This is the same as choosing to live under grace and not under law. Every day we have a choice. We can choose to live as if what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us is how we earn our way to God; or we can choose to believe that we are unconditionally loved and our relationship to God has been paved by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Today I choose joy. Not because it is easy, but because it good. And I choose to rest in the promise that I am loved and accepted apart from what I do today.
Friday, May 2, 2008
The Big Questions
Every so often circumstances present themselves for me to really ask some big questions. Unfortunately this time it is tragedy and unwelcomed hardship. In the past three weeks I've had to experience and walk with others through some of the most difficult moments in life. These are the moments in life that don't make any sense. These are the moments that leave us asking why? I'm sure you've been there. If you've lived on this earth more than a few years, chances are you've walked this road.
It's interesting to me that we only ask the big questions when we are faced with circumstances we don't understand. It leaves us feeling helpless and without answers.
God has taken me on an interesting journey with my questions. The first place is Isaiah 55:8 - "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." But this doesn't really help. I recently heard a sermon where the pastor said that this is like your mom or dad saying, "because I told you so." It is true...His ways are higher than ours, but when we are walking the road of hurt and pain we want more.
So check this out, James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." What an amazing answer...that these trials are necessary for us to become mature and complete. If we want to be all that God made us to be, we must walk through the valley. We must endure hardship and trial.
But is this even enough for comfort? How about this...Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." It is a reminder that God is good and does work even tragedy and heartache for good in this messed up world. Can we trust this? Can we believe this?
I think we can. I think pain should drive us to the place where the most pain was ever felt...on the cross. And on the cross it was evident that "God demonstrates His own love for us in this...that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Knowing that life would be painful, He endured all of it for us. And in that determination, we can rest in the truth that He will work it for good...maybe we won't understand it on this side of heaven, but we can trust without understanding...that is faith.
So when it seems hopeless and it seems unbearable....remember the cross...and how much He loves. And have faith that God will not allow the pain without redemption.
It's interesting to me that we only ask the big questions when we are faced with circumstances we don't understand. It leaves us feeling helpless and without answers.
God has taken me on an interesting journey with my questions. The first place is Isaiah 55:8 - "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." But this doesn't really help. I recently heard a sermon where the pastor said that this is like your mom or dad saying, "because I told you so." It is true...His ways are higher than ours, but when we are walking the road of hurt and pain we want more.
So check this out, James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." What an amazing answer...that these trials are necessary for us to become mature and complete. If we want to be all that God made us to be, we must walk through the valley. We must endure hardship and trial.
But is this even enough for comfort? How about this...Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." It is a reminder that God is good and does work even tragedy and heartache for good in this messed up world. Can we trust this? Can we believe this?
I think we can. I think pain should drive us to the place where the most pain was ever felt...on the cross. And on the cross it was evident that "God demonstrates His own love for us in this...that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Knowing that life would be painful, He endured all of it for us. And in that determination, we can rest in the truth that He will work it for good...maybe we won't understand it on this side of heaven, but we can trust without understanding...that is faith.
So when it seems hopeless and it seems unbearable....remember the cross...and how much He loves. And have faith that God will not allow the pain without redemption.
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