What would happen if......?

As I said in my last post, I had the opportunity to go to a Cincinnati Reds game last weekend. As I was sitting there in the stands I had a random thought that I wanted to share. I did a masters degree in sports marketing and management. One of our classes was on facility management, where we learned the in and out of running a professional sports stadium. Well, the other night sitting there watching grown men play a game for $20 a ticket (and we were in the nosebleeds), I had a thought. "I wonder how many starving kids could be fed with the money that it costs to run a stadium for just one night?" The thought has stayed with me and I can't get it off my mind.
I am as guilty as the next person while living in this blessed country. I consume more than I should and I spend more than I should. But the thought crossed my mind that we really have our priorities screwed up. I'm not sure that I could look a small, starving child in the face and apologize to him for not sending more food, but I had to go to a baseball game. I'm not sure where these thoughts will lead, but they are for sure rattling around in my brain and heart. My heart breaking for those who are struggling. What do you think?

Random thoughts about worship and baseball

Yeah, I suppose those two things (worship and baseball) don't have too much in common...unless you go to a Cincinnati Reds vs. Cleveland Indians game and watch the actions of others in attendance. I was struck again last night, as I have been before, about just how worshipful we are as humans. And I was struck again last night, as I have been before, how the object of our worship is so far from what it should be most of the time.

Last night I went to the Reds game. I don't often go to games just because of the hassle in getting downtown, the cost of the ticket, and to be quite honest...I think baseball is rather boring. I know, I may have just lost a reader or two with that comment, but seriously...it is quicker to watch a wall of paint dry than it is to sit through 9 innings of baseball. The only part that keeps me going on occasion is the atmosphere. It is electric. There are people yelling, clapping, singing and being social. But like I said, I was struck again at what Louie Giglio would term "the purest form of worship." And I asked myself the question as we drove away from the stadium, when was the last time I stood up and jumped up and down and cheered for Jesus? Certainly He has accomplished much more than any one of the Cincinnati Reds. Surely what He did for me was much more meaningful and life altering than Adam Dunn hitting a two run homer in the 3rd.

And yet I find myslelf living day to day thankful and grateful, but not excited. Why is this? Is it because it's already done? Is it because I accepted Christ long ago and now it's more a matter of doing? Is it because a lot of the world is not interested in cheering for Jesus, and when I do I just feel alone? Today I asked God for a new perspective. Today I asked God to open my eyes to His many daily wonders...daily reasons to stand up and cheer. We all live lives of worship. I want my worship to be toward the only One who is truly worthy of my worship.

Law vs. Grace

I recently took a class called "The Doctrine of Grace." Really it was a good look at the book of Romans, which by the way, has always been one of my favorites. I get Paul. He and I probably would have been friends (after the whole "killing Christ followers" phase was put behind him). This struggle with how to relate to God is a big one. Do we try harder to be better or do we simply rest in the grace offered us through Jesus Christ, allowing our doing to be an outpouring of our being. It seems as if it would be an easy answer, and yet there are thousands of Christians all over the world trying to "earn" their way into God's good graces. It's not necessarily that we cognitively choose to do it, but our culture is such that performance is rewarded, and so we translate that ideology to our relationship with our Creator.
I have been reading a lot of Henri Nouwen lately. (If you've never read anything written by him, I would say you need to.) He has a way with words. A few days ago, I was reading some things he wrote about joy. He said "joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing can take that love away...joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. It is a choice based on the knowledge that we belong to God and have found in God our refuge and our safety."
We have to choose joy. This is the same as choosing to live under grace and not under law. Every day we have a choice. We can choose to live as if what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us is how we earn our way to God; or we can choose to believe that we are unconditionally loved and our relationship to God has been paved by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Today I choose joy. Not because it is easy, but because it good. And I choose to rest in the promise that I am loved and accepted apart from what I do today.

The Big Questions

Every so often circumstances present themselves for me to really ask some big questions. Unfortunately this time it is tragedy and unwelcomed hardship. In the past three weeks I've had to experience and walk with others through some of the most difficult moments in life. These are the moments in life that don't make any sense. These are the moments that leave us asking why? I'm sure you've been there. If you've lived on this earth more than a few years, chances are you've walked this road.
It's interesting to me that we only ask the big questions when we are faced with circumstances we don't understand. It leaves us feeling helpless and without answers.
God has taken me on an interesting journey with my questions. The first place is Isaiah 55:8 - "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." But this doesn't really help. I recently heard a sermon where the pastor said that this is like your mom or dad saying, "because I told you so." It is true...His ways are higher than ours, but when we are walking the road of hurt and pain we want more.
So check this out, James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." What an amazing answer...that these trials are necessary for us to become mature and complete. If we want to be all that God made us to be, we must walk through the valley. We must endure hardship and trial.
But is this even enough for comfort? How about this...Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." It is a reminder that God is good and does work even tragedy and heartache for good in this messed up world. Can we trust this? Can we believe this?
I think we can. I think pain should drive us to the place where the most pain was ever felt...on the cross. And on the cross it was evident that "God demonstrates His own love for us in this...that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Knowing that life would be painful, He endured all of it for us. And in that determination, we can rest in the truth that He will work it for good...maybe we won't understand it on this side of heaven, but we can trust without understanding...that is faith.
So when it seems hopeless and it seems unbearable....remember the cross...and how much He loves. And have faith that God will not allow the pain without redemption.

who's your audience??

Who is your audience? Who are you performing for? What constitutes success in your ministry?

These are great questions for those of us who are performance-oriented. I get sucked pretty quickly into the trap of believing that my success...rather, my worth and value...depends on what I do. You can imagine that often times, for me, youth ministry is very difficult. Teenagers are unpredictable. Teenagers are hard to reach. Their moods are ever changing, as are their feelings about youth group...God...their parents...me. And because of this, they are mostly inconsistent.

I wear my heart on my sleve when it comes to what I'm passionate about, and sometimes, if I get caught in this performace trap, I can get pretty down. I ask the question, "what did I do wrong?" when a ministry event doesn't work. I take it pretty personally...because I put my whole heart into what I love. And yesterday was one of those days...where I just struggled to understand my worth and my purpose. I felt as if I had failed.

I was talking with a friend yesterday afternoon who I used to work with in ministry and he reminded me who I am performing for. What he said hit at the core of who I want to be. If I am doing ministry to be successful, noticed, or famous, I am in the wrong profession. But when we come back to the place where we remember Who it is that we are performing for, we can be certain that our efforts are enough. God has not created me to be successful, He has created me to be faithful. He has not created me to have hundreds of kids following me, He has created me to show whatever kids He puts in my path how to follow Him.

And if I continue to be faithful in the things He places in front of me, always returning to Him in prayer to seek direction and approval, I can sleep well at night knowing that I have done my job. So I toss the same question out to you...who are you performing for? If it's not the King of Kings and Lord of Lords your effort won't mean much in the end.

Encounters with the police...

I've always been a pretty good kid. When I was growing up, I was usually the kid who was too scared to do the totally crazy, law breaking things my friends did. I didn't want to get caught. And when I did do something wrong, I would feel so guilty I usually ratted myself out. This is still true today for me...my heart hates to be in the wrong. I hate to know that I could have been better, and I hate the guilty feeling that goes with it.

Recently, I broke the law and I got caught. I know, I know...what happened to the "good kid" right? Well, my license expired on November 17 of last year. I knew it had expired, but the past 6 months has been a very busy season for me and I just didn't take the time to go get a new license. I was driving very carefully because I knew I was toast if I got pulled over. One day I was driving and I passed a police car, which very quickly got in behind me. I didn't drive more than 1/2 mile more when he flipped his lights on and I knew I was caught. I wasn't speeding, so the only explaination was that he checked my plates and found out I was driving illegally. Ouch. I did it...I was guilty...and as the feelings of guilt and anger and frustration all welled up in me I began to cry. It was a feeling I never wanted to have again.

Now, flash foward to last night. My ticket was paid...I have the cancelled check, and yet as I drove the speed limit past a police officer he pulled in behind me and gave me the lights. My heart didn't sink. I knew I was innocent...I had done nothing wrong. As he made his way to my window I was confident in my innocence and felt strong. He asked to see my license (which is new, by the way) and told me that I had an outstanding ticket and there was a warrant out under my name. Calmly I explained to the officer that I had paid the ticket, had a cancelled check and was not in violation. He took my license back to his car, ran it through and realized that they had just not changed the status on the warrant....I was free to go.

As I sat in my car last night waiting on the officer's verdict, a thought hit me. As humans, we were guilty. We had every right to carry the guilt of our sin around with us. We had every right to cry and feel frustrated at our iniquity...and the punishment of death that comes with it. UNTIL...the debt was paid. And it was...our debt (our ticket for our iniquity) was paid by Jesus Christ on the cross. And we are free...free to live without condemnation or guilt.

The problem is that there is an enemy out there who wants us to still think we are guilty. He wants us to squirm and wonder if we are forgiven. He wants us to try to pay the debt again and again when it is already marked paid. He wants us to be nervous and question our freedom. But Paul tells us in Romans, "there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." And I sat there last night thankful for the debt that was already paid. For when the accuser came after me to try to make me think I was not free, the reality hit me that I had nothing to worry about. I have a clean slate.

Thank you Jesus for paying my debt. Thank you for making me free. Thank you that I don't have to worry about being "caught"...but I am already pardoned!

Discipleship??

So, I've really been thinking about the purpose of the church...what we are here to accomplish and how we do it. I think we, as in the North American church, have gotten very good at programs. We've gotten very good at putting on a show. We've gotten very good at counting numbers. But what I'm finding is that we don't do a great job of discipleship. I was recently captivated, like many others around the church, by the Willow Creek "Reveal" study, where they found (they studied both Willow Creek attenders, as well as attenders from 6 other churches) that numbers don't tell the whole story of spiritual health.



This topic has always been one to peak my interest because at heart many of my gifts are in discipleship, mentoring, small groups, etc. I love to see people, especially teenagers, "get it" and start to "live it". It is my passion that each one of the students who walks through the door of our ministry would have the opportunity to grow placed in front of them. I would hate it if all they saw was a program. Don't get me wrong, we have some great teachers at our church. Our student ministry team is really talented and gifted when it comes to teaching and preaching. But I don't think the messages we give always have the impact we are looking for by giving them. Sometimes students do actually listen to what we say, but if we don't follow those messages up with a conversation where they can really think and act on what was heard, the impact will not be very far reaching.

I believe that we, as student ministry staff and volunteers need to focus our attention on the individual journey of each student. The problem is, and you might agree, that there are only 24 hours in a day and we sleep for at least 8 of those (or at least I do), so how are we supposed to focus on each student when there are so many of them? I am convinced that we are not the only ones who have the ability to do this. I believe that if we focus on a few key students and train them to have these same intentional conversations with their friends, the impact will be much farther reaching. As Mike Breaux so nicely put it, we are looking for a "ripple effect". But it starts with one. It starts with pouring our lives into students in a way that leaves them asking the important questions, challenges them to seek after God, and gives them the resources and instruction to reach their friends. I believe then, and only then, will our ministry gain meaning and purpose in this world and beyond.