Last night my high school girls small group resumed our monthly trip down to Having the Courage to Change. What is it, you might ask? Having the Courage to Change is an arm of City Ministries here in Cincinnati. It is a place of refuge for women who are either just getting out of jail or who are looking for a way to turn an addiction around. It is a faith based organization where the women are there to confront their lives, the choices they have made and gain hope in a future.
What we have found in partnering with this organization is that the women who go through this program are truly amazing. My heart is blessed every time I walk through the door of New Beginnings (which is what they call the first residence of the program). My faith is strengthened as I hear story upon story of God redeeming lives and women walking in new faith. And tears are brought to my eyes as I watch my girls, who come from great affluence and opportunity, have conversations with women from different backgrounds, learning and growing together.
Last night was special. We ate a meal together, which by the way, was amazing (Ms. Elizabeth sure can cook)!! And then we carved pumpkins! It was so fun to see our girls teaming up with theirs to make the best pumpkin creation. What was even more fun was to hear some of the women from the ministry talk about how they had never done that before!! When I heard someone say it, I thought 'you must be kidding?' Pumpkin carving was something I have done since childhood. In fact, I can't remember a Halloween without pumpkin carving. Yet, this was a first for a few of these women. What a blessing it was to be there for that!
I don't have too much more to say about the evening. But I will say this...when we step out of our comfort zones, we end up finding so much substance that can grow us. I know for some of our girls, this was a big step out of their "zone". But I also know that their hearts grew last night. And they were excited. And the first thing they asked was, "when are we going back?" You see, when we connect with people on a heart level, and love each other like Jesus, we find that the walls that society puts up between us are easily knocked down.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Go at it Alone
"Go at it alone!" I've said it many times as a soccer coach. It's not an ideal situation, but it occurs when one of your players finds herself heading toward goal, one or more defenders in the way of pure glory. Teammates are behind, pulling up the rear, but nobody is a better option than just putting your head down and going to goal alone. This is where it gets interesting. If she's a good player, she might beat one, maybe two defenders as she heads toward the goal, but going it alone is one of the more difficult things you can be asked to do as a soccer player. It is a team sport, after all, and there are 10 other players on the field for a reason. Sometimes, though, you find yourself in a situation where you don't have a choice. And you do all you can to try to make it work. But more often than not, you get mugged by a few defenders and find yourself stripped of the ball and flat on your face.
I was at our district game the other night when I heard our assistant coach yell just that at one of our players. Now, mind you, she is one of the best players in the state of Ohio, and if anyone can make it alone, she would be the player you'd want to try. But as the rain was pouring down, after beating one player, she was tossed to the ground by another. She slid about 10 yards like a hovercraft before coming to a stop...soaked from head to toe...her pride certainly damaged in the fall.
I've been working in youth ministry for long enough to know this...going at it alone always leaves you face down on the ground, exhausted, and often times burnt out. But, as youth pastors, we are often found trying to do ministry alone. Why? Some of it is our own fault...we fail to cast vision. We fail to share need. We think we are super human and can handle it on our own. After all, God did call us to save this generation, right? We can certaily oblige by planning events, leading a band for kickin worship, preparing 2-3 messages/small group lessons a week, spending time with students, going to sporting events, plays and band concerts, making sure the youth aren't disrupting the rest of the congregation, planning camps and mission trips, and if we have some spare time ministering to parents to keep them from flipping out about their kids behavior.
And some of it is forced upon us. I mean, really, what adult wants to hang out with junior high kids and their hormones? Most of the time people are more than happy to tell a youth minister what needs to be done, but less than willing to help them do it. And so it just seems easier to go at it alone than beg folks to go at it with you.
Here's what I'm learning, though. God didn't design us to go at it alone. He designed us for relationship. He designed us for community. And this extends to youth ministry. Our students need more than an over programmed youth night where they race to drink a gallon of milk (which, by the way, cannot be done in under an hour) or play table hockey until their fingers fall off. Our students are crying out for relationships that matter. They are crying out for conversations that dig deep. They are in need of someone to walk alongside of them as they journey, pray with them as they hurt, celebrate with them as they win, and love them when they fail.
But we, as youth leaders, are also in need of community, maybe even more-so. It doesn't matter how well meaning or gifted we are. If we don't have a group of adults to minister along side of us, the weight of the adolescent hearts we are trying to reach will become too big of a burden for us to carry. We will so quickly fall back on our ministry training of creating programs to keep everyone happy...but very few will be growing, maturing, and multiplying in their faith. Even Jesus didn't do the work of ministry alone. He had friends, brothers and sisters, to walk with Him. They challenged each other, prayed with each other, and shared the burden of the many tasks associated with loving and caring for others. And in the end, ministry multiplied and more hearts were reached. More people grew and became ministers themselves. And the cycle continued.
My vision, or rather what I believe to be God's vision for His kids...is that each one of them would have someone to walk with. That each one of them would have a place to struggle with the intersection of the truth of God and the reality of their everyday lives. That each one of them would be able to let their guard down with someone who cares and for that moment be real. But for that to happen, none of us can afford to go at it alone. We need each other. We need to pray together. We need to challenge each other and listen to each other. We need to celebrate together and cry together. We need to get real with each other if we want to see our students get real with us.
So my prayer tonight is that God would raise up a community of folks who love students. A community of folks who are willing to lay it all on the line to see a group of teenagers begin to see God. A community of folks willing to be real with each other as we become real with students...and help them to change the world. Will you pray with me?
I was at our district game the other night when I heard our assistant coach yell just that at one of our players. Now, mind you, she is one of the best players in the state of Ohio, and if anyone can make it alone, she would be the player you'd want to try. But as the rain was pouring down, after beating one player, she was tossed to the ground by another. She slid about 10 yards like a hovercraft before coming to a stop...soaked from head to toe...her pride certainly damaged in the fall.
I've been working in youth ministry for long enough to know this...going at it alone always leaves you face down on the ground, exhausted, and often times burnt out. But, as youth pastors, we are often found trying to do ministry alone. Why? Some of it is our own fault...we fail to cast vision. We fail to share need. We think we are super human and can handle it on our own. After all, God did call us to save this generation, right? We can certaily oblige by planning events, leading a band for kickin worship, preparing 2-3 messages/small group lessons a week, spending time with students, going to sporting events, plays and band concerts, making sure the youth aren't disrupting the rest of the congregation, planning camps and mission trips, and if we have some spare time ministering to parents to keep them from flipping out about their kids behavior.
And some of it is forced upon us. I mean, really, what adult wants to hang out with junior high kids and their hormones? Most of the time people are more than happy to tell a youth minister what needs to be done, but less than willing to help them do it. And so it just seems easier to go at it alone than beg folks to go at it with you.
Here's what I'm learning, though. God didn't design us to go at it alone. He designed us for relationship. He designed us for community. And this extends to youth ministry. Our students need more than an over programmed youth night where they race to drink a gallon of milk (which, by the way, cannot be done in under an hour) or play table hockey until their fingers fall off. Our students are crying out for relationships that matter. They are crying out for conversations that dig deep. They are in need of someone to walk alongside of them as they journey, pray with them as they hurt, celebrate with them as they win, and love them when they fail.
But we, as youth leaders, are also in need of community, maybe even more-so. It doesn't matter how well meaning or gifted we are. If we don't have a group of adults to minister along side of us, the weight of the adolescent hearts we are trying to reach will become too big of a burden for us to carry. We will so quickly fall back on our ministry training of creating programs to keep everyone happy...but very few will be growing, maturing, and multiplying in their faith. Even Jesus didn't do the work of ministry alone. He had friends, brothers and sisters, to walk with Him. They challenged each other, prayed with each other, and shared the burden of the many tasks associated with loving and caring for others. And in the end, ministry multiplied and more hearts were reached. More people grew and became ministers themselves. And the cycle continued.
My vision, or rather what I believe to be God's vision for His kids...is that each one of them would have someone to walk with. That each one of them would have a place to struggle with the intersection of the truth of God and the reality of their everyday lives. That each one of them would be able to let their guard down with someone who cares and for that moment be real. But for that to happen, none of us can afford to go at it alone. We need each other. We need to pray together. We need to challenge each other and listen to each other. We need to celebrate together and cry together. We need to get real with each other if we want to see our students get real with us.
So my prayer tonight is that God would raise up a community of folks who love students. A community of folks who are willing to lay it all on the line to see a group of teenagers begin to see God. A community of folks willing to be real with each other as we become real with students...and help them to change the world. Will you pray with me?
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