Who is your audience? Who are you performing for? What constitutes success in your ministry?
These are great questions for those of us who are performance-oriented. I get sucked pretty quickly into the trap of believing that my success...rather, my worth and value...depends on what I do. You can imagine that often times, for me, youth ministry is very difficult. Teenagers are unpredictable. Teenagers are hard to reach. Their moods are ever changing, as are their feelings about youth group...God...their parents...me. And because of this, they are mostly inconsistent.
I wear my heart on my sleve when it comes to what I'm passionate about, and sometimes, if I get caught in this performace trap, I can get pretty down. I ask the question, "what did I do wrong?" when a ministry event doesn't work. I take it pretty personally...because I put my whole heart into what I love. And yesterday was one of those days...where I just struggled to understand my worth and my purpose. I felt as if I had failed.
I was talking with a friend yesterday afternoon who I used to work with in ministry and he reminded me who I am performing for. What he said hit at the core of who I want to be. If I am doing ministry to be successful, noticed, or famous, I am in the wrong profession. But when we come back to the place where we remember Who it is that we are performing for, we can be certain that our efforts are enough. God has not created me to be successful, He has created me to be faithful. He has not created me to have hundreds of kids following me, He has created me to show whatever kids He puts in my path how to follow Him.
And if I continue to be faithful in the things He places in front of me, always returning to Him in prayer to seek direction and approval, I can sleep well at night knowing that I have done my job. So I toss the same question out to you...who are you performing for? If it's not the King of Kings and Lord of Lords your effort won't mean much in the end.
